Episode 17. Threat of the Bottomless Drinker (2)
I’d already decided how I was going to torment these two: with alcohol.
“Anyway, do you gentlemen have plenty of time to drink today? We’ve got a lot to talk about, and I’ll need you to put in a good word for me with Black Rabbit Gang.”
Han Go-wook chuckled.
“So you’re not as stiff as I thought. We’ve got time. We usually get entertained over at Ihwa House, but this place isn’t bad.”
I cut in first.
“You can look at the flowers after we drink.”
“Very well.”
By “flowers,” he meant the courtesans.
But flowers, my ass. I had no intention of letting them see anything but the bottom of a cup.
How much did I plan to make them drink?
Until they were about one sip away from death.
I’m a bottomless drinker.
Even without playing tricks with internal energy to dispel the alcohol, I’d always been the best drinker under heaven.
As it turned out, Jeon Poong and Han Go-wook could hold their liquor pretty well too.
But after about half a shichen of pounding back drinks while exchanging half-hearted small talk, both of them were starting to struggle.
Didn’t help that we were drinking third-grade Du-gang, not first-grade. And I’d deliberately kept the atmosphere heavy, so the food in their bellies wasn’t settling either.
Jeon Poong shook his head.
“This Du-gang is especially strong today.”
Of course it was.
It was bad booze.
I smiled at him.
“Stop whining.”
Han Go-wook’s face was bright red. He let out a big laugh.
“We’re not whining. Just… call some girls in already. I hear Chae-hyang and So-ok here are gorgeous, sing well, dance well. Bring those two in.”
I waved him off.
“Don’t ruin the taste of the drink. Here.”
I refilled their cups with Du-gang.
That’s when their expressions soured for real.
They’d had enough that their bodies started trying to refuse the alcohol, and they scrambled for excuses.
“Haven’t we had enough already?”
“I should take a break, then drink more later.”
I laughed loudly.
“Drink or die. Pick one. There are no other options.”
Jeon Poong glared.
“You little shit, you’re drunk. Ja-ha, you should stop now. You’re wasted. Brat’s got a bright future, but your drinking manners are terrible.”
Han Go-wook tapped the table with his fingers.
“He’s right. Your way of talking is the problem. If you use that tone in front of Black Rabbit Gang’s executives, you’ll get stabbed at a drinking party someday. Remember that.”
I popped a piece of food into my mouth and asked,
“Is the gang leader of Black Rabbit Gang really that great?”
“What was that?!”
“You’ve crossed the line.”
I looked at the two men, expression calm.
“Are you drunk?”
“…”
“As you can see, I’m not. If your gang leader is such a great man, I suppose he can save the two of you from right here and now. Let me be clear. I’ve never been one to worry about consequences. So: are you going to die here by my hand, or drink your cups? Choose one of the two. Madam Son!”
At the end, I raised my voice and called for Madam Son. The door slid open with a bang and she looked at me, waiting for instructions.
I gave them.
“Bring my longsword.”
She nodded once and disappeared.
Before they could get a word in, I jabbed a finger at them.
“You have until she gets back. If you don’t drink, I’ll take it to mean you’ve chosen a two-on-one life-and-death duel. I’m hoping you’re at least stronger than the Jo brothers. Surely Black Rabbit Gang’s experts are better than those three.”
By the time I’d finished talking, both men had gone pale.
Even sober, they weren’t confident they could beat me. In their current state, dead drunk, they were even more intimidated.
I stared at them with perfectly clear eyes.
“Hurry up and decide. I can hear footsteps. Thump, thump, thump. She’s almost here.”
Soon enough, Madam Son’s footsteps approached. As the door slid open again, both men snatched up their cups and drained them in a rush.
“Kgh…”
“Ugh…”
Their faces twisted in agony. It was no wonder—they’d just forced down more third-grade Du-gang without a single pause.
I took the sword Madam Son handed me and laid it on the table, then reached for the bottle again.
“Good. Madam Son.”
She folded her hands politely in front of her and looked at me.
I pointed at the two men.
“Our esteemed guests here seem to think I’m beneath them. Guess a tavern boy gets looked down on wherever he goes. You were like that too, weren’t you?”
She nodded.
“They’re confident because they’ve got Black Rabbit Gang at their backs, I suppose. But if I’d been afraid of Black Rabbit Gang from the start, would I have killed the Jo brothers? Yes or no?”
Madam Son nodded hard.
That’s right.
I gestured toward the cups again.
“Come on, drink up. Madam Son, go tell Cha Seong-tae to gather all the fighters hanging around the three houses and have them wait downstairs. If Brother Jeon or Brother Han tries to run, they’re to either kill them on the spot or drag them back here. I’ll give them their punishment drinks myself.”
Madam Son nodded to show she understood and left the room.
Jeon Poong and Han Go-wook were so drunk they could barely sit straight. Even so, they knew that if they attacked me now, they’d die instantly.
Jeon Poong muttered,
“I need to go to the latrine.”
I studied his face.
“To vomit?”
“To piss.”
“If you still care about making it to the latrine, you’re not drunk enough. You don’t understand the Way of Drinking. Madam Son, order more liquor, then pass on my message.”
She returned from the hallway and nodded vigorously with her lips pressed shut, then closed the door again.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but the two men seemed to find her terrifying as well. Maybe they really believed I’d rip her mouth open if she spoke.
They were barely hanging on.
Soon, Madam Son came back in with more third-grade Du-gang. As she set the jars down, she frowned slightly and used her hands to “speak” to them.
[Don’t. Vomit. Here.]
She left again.
I poured more.
“All right, let’s drink.”
Both men slapped their hands over their mouths at once.
They were on the verge of blacking out.
I drank the same amount they did.
This time, I had no choice but to pour for myself and drink alone as I spoke.
“Brother Jeon, Brother Han. Put in a good word for me with Black Rabbit Gang.”
It was unclear exactly what I wanted them to say, but they nodded eagerly anyway.
“I’ll make sure to plead your case.”
“There won’t be any trouble.”
“You can badmouth me a little if you want. The gang leader doesn’t have to think anything of me. But if things take a strange turn and we end up fighting, I’ll make one promise. If you two ever get caught by me again, I’ll have you drink until you die. I won’t bother beating you, and I won’t send assassins after you or anything. Just remember this: if you fall into my hands again, you’ll drink more than you did today, right up until the moment you die. I do have to be wary of your gang leader… but you two? Absolutely not. Let’s be clear on that distinction before we part ways.”
Jeon Poong and Han Go-wook nodded vigorously.
I poked at them with my finger like I was being petty.
“Now you look like reasonable men. So… one last cup?”
“We’re good.”
Han Go-wook sounded like he was begging.
“I think we’ve had more than enough. Truly. What should we call you from now on? Ah, in any case, we’ll speak very positively of you to our superiors. Our dear master should now… probably stop drinking. Yes, stop. Please.”
I liked their new attitude and tone.
“Good. I’ll build a proper sect here in Ilyang. The name’s already decided. And we’re in the middle of building a very nice headquarters.”
Naturally, that “headquarters” was Jahak Inn.
“Until then, I’d appreciate it if Black Rabbit Gang didn’t demand tribute from us.”
“Would that really happen right away?”
I nodded.
“Asking for offerings before the sect even has a front gate? How is that not bullshit? Let’s just let this go quietly. Later, I’ll take the initiative and go talk to the gang leader myself. Best for everyone, isn’t it? One more cup?”
“No, no. Doing it your way is clearly best. We can’t demand tribute before the sect’s gate is even built. That’s not the way of the martial world.”
I nodded approvingly.
“Well said. Let’s all live by the code of the martial world from now on. A man ought to have some principles. As for me killing the Jo brothers, tell your people this.”
“Go on.”
“Tell them that I, Lee Ja-ha of Ilyang County, killed the three branch masters because they didn’t follow the martial world’s code.”
“I’ll be sure to say exactly that.”
While the two of them used every last shred of willpower not to pass out, I kept drinking.
Now, every time I raised my cup, they winced like their heads were splitting in half.
I muttered like a drunk hero,
“And thus begins my path as a wandering knight again. Anyway, I’m probably drunk now, so you can go. I need one last cup to cleanse my palate.”
“Thank you.”
“It was truly a delightful drinking party.”
“I agree.”
As they staggered to their feet, leaning on each other, I called out toward the door,
“Guests are leaving.”
Madam Son appeared, looked at me, and drew a finger across her own neck.
Shall I kill them?
I shook my head.
“Why kill them? They’re valuable guests. Don’t charge them for the drinks, and escort them politely to the entrance.”
She nodded and extended an arm toward the two men, indicating she’d guide them.
It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Madam Son wasn’t entirely right in the head either.
Or maybe those two had tormented the women here so much that she genuinely wanted to kill them.
I didn’t bother asking.
Jeon Poong and Han Go-wook staggered their way to the front of Maehwa House.
As they carefully descended the stairs, both men froze at the same time.
Outside, a bunch of young men from Ilyang were waiting—each with different clothes, different weapons.
Some were squatting, others were horsing around and laughing, but the instant the two stepped out, everyone fell silent and fixed them with hard, murderous eyes.
From within that crowd, Cha Seong-tae stepped forward, straight sword in hand, and called into the doorway of Maehwa House,
“So, did he say to kill them?”
Jeon Poong and Han Go-wook turned around, wondering who he was talking to.
At some point, Madam Son had followed them down and was standing there like a ghostly old maid, saying nothing, just staring.